I think as a person I long for the unknown. We all do. This human obsession with what we don’t have cant be avoided. It comes knocking at your door, even in a door less house. And those who say they don’t want for something are liars. We all, at some point, want something. Whether for yourself or someone else, materialistic or emotional. There’s nothing wrong with wanting. But I want to not want.
Normality is my greatest want. But why do I want it? I’ve never tasted the sweets of “normality” so why am I like Charlie in the chocolate factory every day, gazing in wonder. I’m happy, don’t get me wrong, but I gaze upon peoples lives, who I perceived to be perfect and cant help but feel the green monster over whelm me.
I suppose the question that plays in my mind is, “why me?” but I’ve always been against self loathing. That in itself is an illness. I spend my life fighting against it, to keep happy and to roll with the punches, but what happens when your fight runs out?
I think you value life when it has been tempted to leave you. But should it really have to threaten to leave before we enjoy it?
Its always worth a shot…
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